Purpose of this blog and what IT means to ME

For those of you who are scratching your heads and are like, "huh, what is the reason for the blog?", this post will explain it for the most part. Pretty much those of you have known me at different parts of my life, whether from elementary school, high school, college, adult life without children, adult life with children, one of my two marriages, and so on. Some know what I have gone through in my life and others do not know.

So, with that said....this blog is about that journey. From the abuse I experienced growing up, to the abuse in my first marriage, to joining The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saint, to my second marriage, Enrichment counselor, Enrichment leader, Branch Missionaries, the abuse and attempted-murder in my second marriage, to my children, Hurricane Katrina to our exodus to Kaufman and then San Antonio. From the Jefferson Parish DA's office, two trials, Jefferson Parish Correctional Facility to Angola, to Metropolitian Battered Women to Family Violence Prevention, to Children's Advocacy Center to Child Safe, advocating for my rights, my children's right, and those who cannot advocate for themselves and so on.

This journal is about the trials and tribulations that I, myself, have gone through and how the gospel has given me strength to get through it and, in some cases, past it. It is to show my children, the generations to come, and those who read about my life that I too was human just like everyone else and that I also had struggles. It will show the good and the bad of my life, but most of all it will show that no matter what two things remain the same....(1) the Gospel is true and (2) I am Always Susan.

For some time I have been trying to start my journal and have not started for one reason or another. So, just as I tell my children, "When you try, you never accomplish anything. You can say that you are trying to walk out the door, but until you do it..you never walk out that door you just stay on the other side trying." So, instead of tyring..I am just going to DO IT.

There was also the guilt of not having started long ago (11 years ago) and having "lost" all that time. SO instead of just starting from the different points in my life where I have realized this, all that I have done it lost more time. I pray that as I go through things in my life from here on out..that as my memory is jogged, those "times" that were lost and not recorded become less and less.

I feel and know it is time for me to express what make me who I am..what makes me..Always Susan..because even through all of the things that I will talk about on here, discuss, and express...when everything is said and done...I am Always Susan and no one can take that from me. I know a lot of people who have gone through or are going through different things in their lives whether from abuse growing up, sexual abuse, failed marriages, domestic violence, and so on, but for me..I am grateful that, for the most part, I have had the gospel there in my life. I am grateful for the Atonement and what that means to me personally. I am grateful for my Priesthood and the blessings that they can give, even though I do not have my own priesthood holder in my house anymore. I am grateful that the Church has been my family when my family has not been there for one or more reasons. I am grateful for my testimony that I have and the strength of it, because without it, I would not be able to go through what I have been through and be as strong as I am afterwards or during it.

My wish is that through this blog is that you
(1) You start your own journal.
(2) You tap into whatever gives you strength to go through what you have and/or will.
(3) You evolve from the victim to the survivor and lead the most productive life that you know how. I wish for you to see the red flags that we ourselves produce in our own relationships and how we continue to end up with the same thing over and over, or at least most of the time, and how to break the cycle that we have learned all too well.

There are also so many more wishes that will go unmentioned.

As I mentioned earlier, I hope that as I grow and heal from my trials and tribulations, you will also do the same in your own way. With that said.......